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By Anonymous Mike, pseudonymously.

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Monday, February 8, 2010
New Orleans.... Pah!

I was going to write about the Phoenix Convention Center but I will leave that to another day because my target today is the city of New Orleans.

I know New Orleans is America's favorite city given the Saints' victory last night and were the emotional favorite but why? Let's review the possibilities for why New Orleans might hold a special place in America's heart:

1) President Jefferson's quest to buy New Orleans is what led to the Louisiana Purchase and our westward expansion.

The statute of limitations ran out on this about 100 years ago and the the only reason why Jefferson wanted to buy the city in the first place was to drop the hammer on those French customs and dock officials in New Orleans who were blocking the trans-shipment of American goods.

2) New Orleans offers unique a unique Cajun cuisine and culture.

I can get my fill of that culture anytime I want by going to Disneyland and plus I get to ride the Pirates of Carribean in the same trip and without the oppressive humidity. If I want real good French cuisine I can always go to Montreal.

3) New Orleans offers a bacchanalian, Latin-like outlet to enjoy hedonism in an otherwise puritanical North America. Plus you have that great roguish element that we all enjoy from afar but that we would never tolerate in our own backyard.

Been to Vegas? Read the paper lately about Chicago? I can gamble in the former and enjoy fewer mosquitoes in the latter.

4) New Orleans deserves our sympathy because of Hurricane Katrina.

That's it, that's why everyone pulls for them.

Note it's not because of the hurricane in of itself because Mississippi suffered far more damage from the storm. Rather it's because of the levees that broke from the effects of the storm; levees which were poorly engineered and which were administered by a balkanized and corrupt political system

The people of New Orleans deserve our sympathy in much the same way the people of Hati do but that doesn't make the city itself an object of veneration. New Orleans has been a den of humidified vice and corruption since, well, just about forever.... it's first good and last governance came with the imposition of martial law during the Civil War. The docks have moved north of the city and as the Tragically Hip reminds us the whole darn city is sinking and I for one do not want to swim.

So why has America embraced such a cesspool?

Is it because we embrace losers? Heck no... did America embrace the Cardinals last year?

Is it because deep down we know that not only is New Orleans doomed but that Saints, playing in such a small market, is also? Before Katrina, the Saints were prime moving materiel for LA and after the storm the owner was all but begging to keep the team in San Antonio. Now that the team has won, it's stuck for the time being and when enough time passes for it to be politically correct to moved out of that small market cesspool, another team would have grabbed the LA market.

So there you go.

Tomorrow's victory parade for the Saints will not be so much a celebration as a swan song.

Time to let them swim.