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By Anonymous Mike, pseudonymously.

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Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Beyond Barneydome

We're two weeks after the election and let's see how the Obapocalypse is faring for the Republicans...

Hope and Change front: Clintonistas populate the White House staff and AG's office. Good thing Hillary didn't win because then Clintonistas would populate the.... oh never mind.

Kinder, gentler foreign policy: looks like the guy who did such a good job prosecuting the Iraq War is going to come back to the same post. That Clinton person? The one that voted for that Iraq War? The one that said she would "...totally obliterate Iran"? Leading candidate for State. Good thing McCain because otherwise he would just re-appoint that guy at Defense and lead a more bellicose foreign policy in regards to Iran...

Next thing you'll tell me is that the President-elect will nominate for Treasury someone who wants a strong dollar policy... well one can hope.

Turning to Congress and the auto bailout.

I have a theory. Look come January, everyone knows that the Democrats will give the Big 3 what they want as far as a bailout, but the auto makers say they'll go under before then. To top it, it seems they haven't even fully tapped into the loans approved back in September, why the Bush Administration wants to speed up in lieu of approving a larger bail out. So why the rush to steamroll the larger bailout before Obama takes over? Come January the Democrats will be even more entrenched in power...

My theory is political cover. We're going through the same mechanics as we did during September and early October when the topic was the financial industry and Speaker Pelosi said whe wanted 100 Republican votes but then refused to whip her own caucus. The bailout as currently constructed stinks: it leaves in place the management that drove the companies into ground, it keeps in place the union contracts and cost structure that has made the Big 3 uncompetitive, and the only pro quid pro is to build more efficient cars which their competitors have been doing for years.

It's like it hasn't occured to the Big 3 to build those cars, they just have the management and cost structure which have stopped them from doing it in a way that would make these companies profitable. You can build all the hybrids and green cars you want but if they aren't better or cost less than Toyota or Honda then they wouldn't sell.

So we're going to throw money at an industry without asking that industry to make the changes necessary to be profitable. We'll just assume that now their wallets are full of taxpayer cash that by magic their management will become smart, their cost structure competitive, and that they will build the cars that everyone wants to buy. Of course that won't work and the Big 3 will be back, perhaps in a year or two, asking for more money and then the crap will really hit the fan. When that crap hits the fan, the Democrats will want to have the Bush Administration's fingerprints on the first bailout because then they can say... "We all know the Bush was a fascist war-mongering idiot in the pockets of Big Oil who wants to break unions and throw little Timmy O'Toole down the well (or something like that), you cannot expect him to get have gotten this right. Now that he's gone, we'll do better on the next $50 billion bailout"

Rinse and repeat.

So here's my solution.

Let's have a cage match... we can build Thunderdome right on the Mall and have Speaker Pelosi lord over it like Tina Turner. For every industry wanting a bailout there will only be enough money for a certain fraction of the companies asking. To get the moolah, the CEOs will have to enter Thunderdome (let's call it Barneydome) and then have a fight to the death. So for the Big 3, only 2 of them are getting the cash with the money going to the comapanies whose CEOs survive. Schumer, Frank, and Reid can all chant "Three men enter, two men leave"

Not fair? I mean the Ford CEO looks like a big wimp. Okay we'll expand the teams to include the C-level executives for each company and they can fight it out like the brawl in "Anchorman."

Think about it... it will be fun and at least we'll get something approaching surivial of the fittest. Look it's either that or mass executions.