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By Anonymous Mike, pseudonymously.

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Tuesday, May 27, 2008
The Silly Season

{T minus five seconds and counting. When the bells ring, the
students stream out the doors, but before they can disappear for
good, a teacher properly concludes their education.}

Teacher: Wait a minute! You didn't learn how World War II ended!
Class: [pause their celebration, awaiting the answer]
Teacher: We won!
Class: Yay! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

Simpsons- Kamp Krusty

I wish the kids worked to the final bell.

Sometime ago on this blog I sparred with a teacher who took me to task when I said that on days before and after vacation, schools don't really make their students work. The teacher was aghast and demanded to know at what schools and district such unprofessional behavior was tolerated.

For evidence, I submit to you the final week's curriculum at my kids' schools.

Today: younger boy, field trip to a wave pool- because we all know this is the only time he'll be able to get to a pool before the start of the next school year; my Dad thinks that despite the fact the boy is in 3rd grade, this could provide excellent source material for a study on fluid dynamics. I have no idea what the older boy is studying but the infamous "Science Class Filmfest" has already started as of last week and he handed in his Math book last Friday.

Tomorrow: older boy is supposed to go to a skate park but he will have to stay back at school as punishment for licking a snail during a science class. Apparently the rest of his class, at least those who don't try to consume their science experiments, will be studying the role of physical mechanics at the skate park. Not sure what the younger boy is doing but since there hasn't been any homework assigned in almost 2 weeks.....

Thursday: The parties begin. Given that Friday is a half day and not all classes will meet, the various "wrap parties" will start, already the requests have gone out for all sorts of sugary and fat-laden foodstuffs and drinks because we all know children learn well on high blood sugar

Friday: The last day of school. Just to show you how little value the school places on the whole week, the school issues a certificate on this day to those who have a perfect attendance record for the entire marking period. The certificate is dated May 30 but for some reason my boy received his... last week on May 23.