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By Anonymous Mike, pseudonymously.

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Thursday, November 1, 2007
Tax Man Cometh

Last night was yet another successful Halloween at the Anonymous Mike household. Large numbers of polite and creatively costumed kids came to the door, much candy was distributed, and my kids brought home a cornucopia of brand name candy.

I think I should confess after reading this post from Chad at Fraters Libertas, that, I too, tax my kids' Halloween candy.

It started off quite innocently so many years ago when they were but wee lads. Their mother would escort them with their small treat bags to the door of the next house and I would wait on the sidewalk holding the larger travel bags. When the kids returned from said house, we would empty the small bags into the large ones. After a few stops, I would inevitably start to snack on the kids' stuff (Mmmm... $100,000 bars) rationalizing that not only were they collecting way more candy than they would ever eat, but that I should be properly compensated for my escort services.

As the years progressed and I moved on from escort duty to manning the house-bound candy distribution station, I continued to "tax" the candy haul. While I no longer provided either protection or transportation services, I justified my ill-gotten gains as "overhead expenses" given that said kids expected to consume said candy under my roof with all the resultant creature comforts and security.

This year I gave up any pretense and just took my cut when they went to bed.

A steady and quick descent from good services provided, to flimsy rationales, to straight confiscation in 5 quick years... sort of parallels the history of the federal income tax.