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By Anonymous Mike, pseudonymously.

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Friday, July 20, 2007
Harry Potter Secret Revealed

Tonight's release of the final Harry Potter book has all the markings of a series finale for a TV show. Given that we just went through this nonsense with the Sopranos and I have had to listen to my kids spout theories non-stop over the past 3 weeks about what will happen, let me offer my prediction:

In the penultimate chapter there will be a spectacular final battle between Potter and Voldemort that will tie up all loose ends and see the death of not 1 but 2 beloved characters. The details of that chapter will unimportant because the real shocker comes in the final few pages when we learn that....

.... Harry Potter is really 35-years old and lives in his parents' basement in La Crosse, Wisconsin. He not only owns every Dungeons & Dragons book ever printed but dreamed the whole 7-book series a la Bob Newhart.